Akatsuki One Half
by Red Moon Lollipop
Summary: The Akatsuki discover the existence of a certain cursed springs. Chaos ensues.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This is my first story! Enjoy! Oh, and the chapters will be short. Please do not complain.

Warning: Mentioning of nudity? Hidan getting stabbed? ... The usual.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Ranma 1/2.

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"Are we there yet?"

"For the last time, no, Tobi!" Deidara groaned, having lost his patience with the childish masked man. "We'll get there when we get there, un!"

"Tobi's tired," Tobi whined. "When will we get there, Sempai?"

"Soon, okay? Now shut up, un!" Deidara was furious at Pein. Why oh why did he have to send him on such a long trip with Tobi of all people?!

"Tobi forgot. Where are we going again?"

Why?!

"We have to check out some supposedly cursed springs. Not sure why Leader-sama insisted on it, it's probably going to be nothing, un! Then I'll have traveled all the way here with only you as company (not sure it can even be called that) for no reason at all! That's probably why he did it, un! Stupid-"

Tobi interrupted his Sempai. "Is that it?" he said, pointing to a secluded clearing with poles sticking out of the ground and steaming pools of water. Right next to it was a sign that said, "Jusenkyo Hot Springs"

"Yeah," Deidara confirmed, distracted from his rant. "Let's go check it out." With that, he started walking toward the springs. Tobi started running after him, calling "Wait for me, Sempai!"

Then he tripped and fell on Deidara's back, pushing him into a nearby spring.

"Sempai!" Tobi exclaimed, dancing around frantically. "Tobi will save you!"

He looked around for a second, slightly confused. "Wait, which one did Sempai fall in again? ... ... ... Oh well!" He leaped into the nearest spring, submerging himself underwater.

Deidara pulled himself out of the spring, gasping. "Tobi, you-" he started to growl, but stopped after noticing something funny with his voice. Since when was it so... High pitched?

He looked down with a feeling of dread pitting itself in his stomach. No... It couldn't be...

A scream sounded in the air.

Tobi broke through the surface of the water at hearing the scream. "Sempai?" he called- or at least tried to, but what came out instead was a bark. He held out his hand to look at... No, not hand...

A paw?

Tobi started whining, confused. Was he a... dog? How did that happen?

Inspecting his surroundings, he noticed that everything was giant now. He then saw Deidara crouched near a spring, soaking wet.

"_Deidara-sempai!_" he barked. Deidara broke from his stupor to see a small, plack puppy with... A lollipop mask? barking at him.

"... Tobi, un?" he asked hesitantly, wincing at his- now her- high voice.

Tobi barked in confirmation, then whined. Deidara didn't know if Tobi was trying to ask why he was a... girl *shudder*... now, or if he was just expressing his shock at the situation in whole.

"Toobiii, I'm going to kill you, un!" Deidara roared, grabbing Tobi's neck and putting him in a chokehold. Tobi whimpered and pawed frantically at her hands, trying to pull himself away from the furious guy-turned-girl.

"Look what you did to me, you idiot! I'm a girl now! A girl! You had to go and ruin everything, didn't you?! If you hadn't pushed me in, none of this would have happened, un! Now I'm stuck like this for who knows how long!" Deidara ranted while shaking poor Tobi back and forth, causing him to feel slightly sick. She finally just threw him into her supply bag and stormed out of the springs, grumbling to herself. "I'm getting out of this place! Stupid Leader, sending us on skewed missions like this. I want to kill him, un! Stupid Tobi..." and so on.

After a while, when she had calmed down a little bit, Deidara pulled the distressed Tobi out of her bag. "How are we going to get back to normal?" she asks. Tobi barks, and Deidara buries her head in her hands. "Never thought I'd see the day where I wished Tobi could talk, un," she muttered.

"Hello, travelers!" They hear a voice call out, and they look up to see a man waving at them. He was short, and on the chubby side, and was wearing a uniform of some sort. "Have you visited the Jusenkyo Hot Springs? They're the best training site in all of China! If you-"

Deidara grabbed his neck. "What's the problem with that place!" she shouted, shaking the man like she did to Tobi. "We fall in the spring and we turn into this! You'd better know a way to turn us back to normal, un!"

The man sweated as he felt something wet against his neck that almost felt like... a tongue? "I-I see. You've already been there. Well, to reverse a curse, all you have to do is pour hot water on yourself, but-"

Deidara didn't stay to listen to the rest. She threw the man aside, grabbed Tobi, and ran off. The man was yelling something about cold water, but the two cursed shinobi didn't hear anything else.

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So, do you like it so far? I will have sporadic updates, but I will try to do it often. Please review!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Second chapter! Yay!

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Ranma 1/2. Sadly.

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"Ok," Deidara said, taking the heated water off the fire. "It should be hot enough, un. Let's hope this works."

She held it over her head and poured.

There was a poof, and in front of Tobi was a completely male Deidara.

Deidara breathed a sigh of relief. "Good, it worked." He peered at Tobi, who was sitting there, waiting for the water to be poured on his head. "...Maybe I should keep you like that. It would definitely be quieter..."

Tobi started barking.

Deidara winced. "Okay, maybe it wouldn't. Anyways, Leader would have my head if I brought you back like this, un." He dumped the water on Tobi before he had the chance to have second thoughts.

"Yaaay!" Tobi exclaimed as he poofed back to normal, hugging Deidara. "Tobi's human again!"

"Tobi!" Deidara grunted, looking anywhere but at the masked man. "Where are your clothes?!"

Tobi looked down to see that he was completely naked. "They must be at the springs!" he deducted. "That's when Tobi turned into a puppy!"

"You can go back on your own," Deidara told him. "I'm not stepping near those springs again!"

So Tobi left, completely undeterred by the fact that he was wandering around naked. Deidara sat down and started making a clay figure while he waited for Tobi to return.

After about fifteen minutes, he looked up at the sky. "It looks like it's going to rain," he said to himself. "... I wonder what's taking Tobi."

About five minutes later, it was pouring rain, and a miserable, decidedly female Deidara sat in the cold, shivering.

"Grrrrrrah!" she growled, throwing the clay bird she was making at a nearby tree, which exploded. "Why am I a girl again, un?! I thought the guy said the curse would go away with hot water!"

She then remembered that the man was saying something as they were running away. What was it again? "...cold water..."

"Oh great!" Deidara exclaimed in realization. "Does this mean that every time I'm hit with cold water, I'll turn into a freaking girl?!" She groaned and put her head in her hands. "Why? Why?!"

A bark interrupted her self-lament, and she looked up to see Tobi the dog running into the clearing, dragging his cloak in his mouth.

"It's the cold water, Tobi!" she shouted at the dog, who looked taken aback at being yelled at not 5 seconds after he got there. "Whenever it hits us, we'll get turned into these... forms again!" She threw another clay sculpture at a tree, causing another explosion. "This sucks!"

She stormed over to the freaked out Tobi and shoved him and the cloak in her bag, then stomped off. "I'm going to look for shelter," she muttered.

After a while, she found a cave they could stay in. Having calmed down slightly, she built a small fire and warmed up some water above it. When it was hot enough, she poured it over Tobi's head, making sure to quickly shove the cloak at him also.

"Hurry up and get dressed, un," she muttered. "You naked was not one of the things I wanted to see in life." While Tobi was getting dressed, Deidara poured the rest of the water over her head, returning herself to her original gender.

"... What are we going to do?" he asked eventually. "We can't tell anyone about this. They make enough jokes about me being a girl already." He said this last part under his breath, but Tobi heard anyways.

"We should tell Leader-sama," Tobi said.

"No! It's not like he'd understand if we asked him to keep it a secret or anything." He shivered, partly from being soaking wet and partly from the thought of how his fellow members would react if they found out about his new curse. "I really don't want anyone to know about this."

A sudden thought occurred to Tobi. What would Pein do if he found out about his curse? He could use it to his advantage, he was smart enough, and somehow manage to defeat Tobi to stop him from being leader, or maybe even kill...

No. For now, this would have to be kept hidden.

"Ok," he said, drawing Deidara's attention. "Tobi won't tell anyone!" He gave his sempai a thumbs up in assurance.

Deidara sighed in relief. "Good. We'll leave in the morning, once the storm lets up."

They fell asleep that night to the sound of rain gently tapping on the forest floor.

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Please review!

Stay tuned for the third chapter; I should post it tomorrow.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3, folks! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Ranma 1/2. **

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"Nothing?" Pein asked, peering at the two returning Akatsuki members suspiciously.

"Nothing. Just rumors," Deidara confirmed, twitching under Pein's paranoid stare.

Starestarestarestarestarestare-

Pein sighed, breaking eye contact. "Very well. You may go." Tobi and Deidara fled the room with relief.

'Something fishy is going on...'

Later, Kisame and Itachi were called to Pein's office. "I have a mission for you. You will go and inspect a hot springs that is supposedly cursed. It's called Jusenkyo. You will leave right now. Any questions?"

"Um..." Kisame spoke up. "Didn't Deidara and Tobi just go on this mission?"

"Yes," he answered. "But I'm sure there's something they're not telling me. So I'm sending the two of you. Understand?"

They nodded. "Yes, Leader-sama."

^/-\^

"Jusenkyo." Kisame looked at the sign. "Yup, this is the place." He glanced at Itachi. "Coming, Itachi?"

"Hn."

They walked in, looking around. "Doesn't seem that cursed to me," Kisame commented. "Just looks like a hot springs."

He grabbed a rock from the ground and threw it into a nearby pool. He didn't notice that Itachi was standing right next to it, though. So when the rock fell in the water, the water splashed on poor, unfortunate Itachi.

"Whoops. Sorry, Ita... chi?" Kisame trailed off as he stared at what was standing where Itachi was.

Itachi stared at his new form in shock. 'What?'

He glared intently at Kisame. "What did you do?" he growled. Of course, he didn't look half as intimidating as he used to, with his cloak hanging off his limbs and dragging on the ground, but he was still pretty scary.

"Woah!" Kisame said, waving his hands and backing away. "I didn't do anything!" He frowned. "What did happen?"

"Are you blind now?" he spat, Sharingan spinning. "Or did you not notice that when I was splashed with the water, I was somehow turned into a kid! A kid! And it's all. Your. Fault."

Kisame had never seen Itachi this angry before. So he did what any sane person would do if put in this situation.

He ran as fast as he could away from Itachi and the springs.

After a while, he noticed that he hadn't been caught up to yet, so he slowed down and looked behind him.

No sign of Itachi.

Either he had calmed down significantly, or was weakened by his child body. Either way, there was really no reason for him to keep running. That would just anger the boy further.

He walked back, calling for Itachi. "Itachi? Where are you? Ita- Oh!"

Kisame wanted to laugh at the sight in front of him, but managed to keep silent. He had found Itachi. And it looked like he was in a bit of a fix.

Itachi did chase after Kisame. But there was the problem of his way too long Akatsuki robes. Holding them up slowed him down, so he had let go. And tripped over them.

And that was why he was now sprawled on his stomach on the ground, face crimson with embarrassment.

"I-Itachi. Need a little help?" Kisame asked, his mouth twitching from trying not to laugh. Itachi grunted, trying to save face by glaring threateningly at Kisame. It didn't work.

"Never speak of this to anyone," Itachi muttered as Kisame picked him up and placed him on his shoulders.

"But what about Leader-sama?" Kisame questioned. "He needs to know about the cursed springs, and-"

"Never. To. Anyone.

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**Stay tuned for chapter 4; I should post it this weekend. Please review!**


	4. Chapter 4

**And here is chapter four! I love writing for these two. :) Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Ranma 1/2. **

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"Really? Nothing?" Pein asked doubtfully. Kisame sweated nervously, while Itachi just stood there stoically.

On their way back from the springs, they had run into the same guy as Deidara and Tobi, and he told him how to get back to normal. Of course, they stayed long enough to hear about the dangers of cold water, unlike the impatient Deidara.

"There is nothing strange about it. It's just a hot spring," Itachi confirmed. Kisame nodded in agreement.

Pein gave them a skeptical look, but waved them out of his office. He then sat there, thinking.

'Why do I still get the feeling that I'm missing something?'

He would send Kakuzu and Hidan there.

.\/.

"Here it is," Kakuzu said, looking at the springs. "The supposedly cursed hot springs that Leader-sama had to send six people to to check it out."

"That's **!" Hidan yelled. "If there wasn't anything wrong with it the first 2 ** times, there won't be anything the third time!"

"Yeah, but _apparently_ the first two teams were hiding something," Kakuzu said sarcastically. "So we have to look at it also."

"Why the ** is Leader so interested in a freaking hot springs?" Hidan complained as they walked in. "It's a hot springs! Big ** deal!"

"Hey, Hidan," Kakuzu said suddenly.

"What?"

"Shut up." And he pushed the loud Jashinist into a nearby spring.

"**!" Hidan yelled as he resurfaced. "Why the ** did you do that?!" Or, at least he tried to yell. It didn't work so well.

Kakuzu stared at him. "... Hidan? Is that you?" he asked.

"Yeah, it's me! Why the ** are you so big?!" He answered. All Kakuzu heard were yowls, though.

So he grabbed a knife and stabbed the kitten in front of him.

"Ow!" Hidan exclaimed. "** you, old man!"

'Yup, that's Hidan,' Kakuzu thought as the kitten didn't die, but just kept on meowing.

"Why are you a cat?" he asked, not because Hidan could answer; he just didn't seem to even notice that he was small, furry, and had a tail.

"I am?" Hidan looked down at himself. "I am! **!"

"... Maybe it happened when I pushed you into the water," Kakuzu wondered. He knelt down and inspected the pool. "Hmmm..."

"Oy!" Hidan yowled. "I'm a ** cat, and you just look at water?! Get me back to normal!"

Kakuzu ignored him, seeing how he couldn't understand him, anyway.

"Wait right there," he told the twitchy Hidan, and went off.

"Hey, where are you ** going? Why are you leaving me? At least get this ** knife out of me! Hey! Get back here!"

When Kakuzu returned with a small bird about five minutes later, Hidan was still meowing indecipherable things. "You never shut up, do you?" Kakuzu complained, and Hidan just got louder in response.

He placed the bird in another spring, and when it came out, it was a frog. "Just as I thought," he said.

"You ever gonna take your ** knife back?!"

"It seems that when anyone falls into a specific spring, they turn into whatever that spring was specified to."

"Hey! I'm talking to you!"

"But how to turn you back..."

"Stop ** ignoring me!"

"Maybe it's permanent..."

"That's it!" Hidan went up to his lost in thought partner, and bit his arm.

"What?" Kakuzu asked, looking down at the cat with an annoyed look on his face.

"Get your ** knife out of me!" Hidan shouted.

"..." Kakuzu stared at him with a contemplating look on his face. "... ... ... You still have my knife."

Hidan sweatdropped.

Kakuzu ripped out the knife, and Hidan yelped. He grabbed Hidan and stood up.

"I'm going to see if I can find someone who can help us," he said.

After wandering around for a while, they eventually ran into a pudgy man in a uniform. He told them how to reverse the curse, and how it returns with cold water.

"So I'm ** stuck with this?!" Hidan yowled. He was ignored.

When he was turned back, the two partners learned that transforming back to normal does not provide you with clothing. Hidan didn't really care, so Kakuzu had to practically force him back into his cloak.

Once Hidan was dressed, he immediately told Kakuzu, "You'd better not ** tell anyone about this. It's ** embarrassing, being a cat!"

"I have to tell Leader-sama, you know..."

"I'll give you 200 ryo if you don't."

"Make it 300, and it's a deal."

"... Fine."

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**There was chapter four! I'll post the next chapter on Thursday. Please Review!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Here is chapter 5! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Ranma 1/2. **

* * *

"Are you absolutely, 100% sure there's nothing?"

"Yes! **, we've told you a million times!" Hidan shouted, annoyed.

"Fine," Pein growled. "Go."

They left quickly at hearing his tone of voice.

Pein sighed. First Deidara and Tobi said there was nothing. Then Itachi and Kisame. Now Hidan and Kakuzu. He should be convinced by now that it really was just a normal springs.

But, no matter how many people came back dismissing his suspicions, he still couldn't shake the feeling that he was missing something.

He would have sent Zetsu, but he had already sent the plant man on a mission, and it would be another week before he returned...

Well, you know what they say. If you want something done, you have to do it yourself.

"Pein? Where are you going?"

Of course, it wouldn't hurt to have Konan go with you.

*:_:*

"Konan and I will be leaving on a mission for the next few days," Pein had said once he had gathered all of the Akatsuki (except Zetsu) in one place. "Itachi will be in charge while I'm gone. Understand?"

"Yes, Leader-sama."

That had been about a day and a half ago, and now Pein and Konan were standing in front of the notorious hot springs that had been annoying Pein to no end for a whole week.

Konan glanced at him. "Are you sure this is cursed? It just looks like an ordinary hot springs to me."

"No," Pein replied. "But I highly suspect it."

Konan sweatdropped. "So you just brought me here on a whim?"

"Not a whim," Pein corrected. "I've been suspicious about this place for about a week now."

She rolled her eyes. "Fine. Should we go in, then?"

They walked in the springs and split apart. Konan looked at a pool, tempted to take a dip. 'It looks so nice...'

Meanwhile, Pein was watching the spring carefully, making sure to take in every detail. 'There has to be something...'

Unluckily for him, he was so busy looking for something suspicious, he wasn't watching where he was walking. So when his foot caught on a rock, he found himself falling...

*Splash!*

Konan whipped around. "Pein?" she called out, looking for the ring-eyed man. But she couldn't see him anywhere.

She walked towards the direction she heard the noise come from, intent on finding the Akatsuki leader.

But she didn't look where she was placing her foot.

*Splash!*

Pein crawled out of the pool, gasping for breath. 'Stupid!' he berated himself. 'You were so caught up looking, you didn't watch where you were going!'

But what was wrong with his hand? Was it a... paw?!

"Konan!" he called out. But it didn't come out in words. Instead...

He looked back at the pool to see his reflection. He... He wasn't human anymore... He was...

A tiger?

He heard a bird's caw from behind him, and turned to see a violet colored heron watching him. Was that Konan? It had to be. No birds were naturally that color.

She cocked her head, as if to say, You too? He nodded, then sent her a smug look that clearly said 'I told you so'. She scoffed, then turned around, gesturing with her head for him to follow her.

They were wandering around for a while before running into a chubby man with a uniform on. He glanced at them, then took a double take.

"... Let me guess," he eventually said. "You fell in the springs?"

They nodded.

He told them that they needed hot water to become normal. They were about to turn around when he stopped them and told them about how cold water would return them to their cursed forms. They took note of it and went off to find some hot water.

Of course, once they did find it, they discovered that they transformed back completely naked. Awkwardness ensued.

After they were fully dressed and proper, they decided that they would not tell anyone about their curses. Knowing some of the members, half of the Akatsuki would go out of their way to pour cold water on the two of them, just to embarrass them.

Little did they know, half the Akatsuki would be avoiding cold water themselves.

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**That was chapter 5! I'll post the next chapter sometime this weekend. Please review!**


	6. Chapter 6

**This is chapter six! Please enjoy! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own any elements in Naruto or Ranma 1/2. **

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At the Akatsuki base, right after Pein and Konan left, Hidan stormed out of the room.

"I'm going to do a ** ritual," he muttered, and left.

Next, Deidara left, saying something about art. Tobi quickly followed.

Itachi was the next to leave. He didn't bother to even make an excuse; Uchihas don't need to explain themselves.

Kakuzu then left, saying he needed to count money.

And Kisame was left there sitting awkwardly.

"Well, this is nice," he muttered. "Why are the people in this place so boring? I should fix that."

And he had an idea.

-,,_,,-

"Family what night?" Hidan questioned, slightly aghast.

"Family game night," Kisame said. "Once a week, we'll all come together and play a game."

"Uh... You do know we aren't actually family, right?" Deidara spoke up.

Kisame rolled his eyes. "Fine. Akatsuki game night. We'll start right now."

"Why now?" Hidan complained. "I need to do a ritual. Do this ** some other ** time!"

"No. We're doing it now," Kisame insisted. "Itachi agrees with me, and he's the leader for now." He turned to his partner. "Right, Itachi?"

"Hn," Itachi said.

Kisame turned back to the other Akatsuki triumphantly. "See? We're doing it now."

"** you, Uchiha," Hidan muttered.

Of course, things didn't turn out quite the way Kisame wanted it to. Our cursed members were in a bad mood. How would you feel if you had to turn into a specific thing if hit with cold water? Not so happy, right? So there were bound to be some fights.

"You ** pyromaniac! You cheated!"

"That was completely fair, you freaking religious fanatic!"

"** girly man!"

Deidara winced at this last insult. "I-I'm not a girl! I am completely, 100% man, un!" he protested frantically.

"Stop acting like children," Kakuzu commented. No one noticed Itachi flinch from the corner he was brooding in, except for Kisame, who sent him a pitying glance.

"You can't ** tell me what to do!" Hidan shouted at his partner.

Kakuzu smirked. "Yes I can." And he held out a spray bottle.

Deidara and Hidan blanched. "Keep that thing away from me!" they both exclaimed at the same time. They glanced at each other, then hightailed out of there.

Kakuzu pocketed the spray bottle. "Finally. Peace and quiet."

Of course, that little display provided more than just quiet.

It told Kakuzu that Deidara had a curse, also.

Now he just needed to find out what. After all, it could be something that could make him money. They were running low. Hmm...

The next day, while eating breakfast, Kakuzu watched Deidara carefully. In about five minutes, Kakuzu would walk to the kitchen to get a glass of water. On his way back, he would trip over Hidan's conveniently placed scythe, and the water would spray onto Deidara.

Easy.

Ten seconds... Five seconds... Two... One...

Now!

"I'm getting some water," Kakuzu nonchalantly told the people at the table. They grunted in response.

He went to the kitchen and filled up a glass with water. Of course, he picked a non-breakable one so he wouldn't have to buy another when this was done.

A little voice in the back of his head was screaming warning signs, but he ignored it. This would work; what could possibly go wrong?

"I'm going to the bathroom," Deidara told everyone at the table.

They all made apathetic noises in response.

He left the room, muttering something about enthusiasm levels and all time lows.

0_0

Shaking his doubts, Kakuzu walked out, and purposely put his foot on the scythe.

But then he noticed...

Where was Deidara?

He wasn't there anymore!

And there was nothing he could do as he watched the water fly out of his hands and onto...

Kisame's head!

Kisame blinked. Everyone still at the table stared at Kakuzu, who was staring back. When nothing happened, Kakuzu rubbed the back of his head sheepishly.

"Ah... Sorry."

Mission Reveal Deidara: Fail.

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**That was chapter six! I'll** **post again on Tuesday. Please review! :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Guess what? I'm posting two chapters today! Know why? Cause school's finally out! Yes! I can't believe I'm going into high school already! Where does the time go?**

**Anyways... Here's chapter seven. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Ranma 1/2. **

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Pein and Konan returned from their mission in a bad mood.

"Hey," Kisame greeted them from the couch. "How'd it go?"

"Don't ask," Pein grumbled, leaving the room. Konan followed, muttering unintelligible things under her breath.

Kisame blinked. "Wonder what happened."

"Can't be worse than our mission," Itachi mumbled from his corner.

Kisame startled. "Woah! You're still there?!"

Itachi stared at him blankly.

"Look, I know you're in a bad mood, but you can't keep holed up forever. Come on. We're going to ask Leader-sama for a mission." And he grabbed Itachi's arm and dragged him away.

**-/_\-**

"A mission?" Pein asked when they reached his office.

"Yeah. We're bored," Kisame said. "So we want to go on a mission." Itachi just stared forward from his spot beside his partner.

"Well... If you really want to..." Pein grabbed a stack of folders from on top of his desk and started flipping through them. "Let's see... Rice country... No, not that... Not Konoha... Ok." He grabbed a paper. "You're going to go grocery shopping. We're running low on food."

"Uh... Grocery shopping... Okay, I guess we'll do that..." Kisame responded slowly.

Pein handed them a wallet. "Any more money than this comes out of your own pocket." He cleared his throat. "At least, that's what Kakuzu told me to say. Now go."

"Yes, Leader-sama," they said.

X . X

"Ok..." Kisame said, looking at the paper in front of him. "According to this, we have to go shopping here." He looked up at the store in front of him that was called 'Big Mart'. "Geez, Kakuzu really takes this seriously. Right, Itachi?" He glanced around. "Itachi?"

_Where'd he go? _Kisame wondered.

He thought back to their route. They had gone through the forest, took the back entrance into the village, cut through a few peoples' yards, walked a few blocks...

Wait...

Weren't the sprinklers on in one of those yards?

Stupid curse.

He turned around and headed back to the houses they had crossed through. Sure enough, kid Itachi was stuck in one of those yards, struggling to stand up with his long, heavy cloak.

"Need some help?" Kisame asked, walking into the yard. Itachi glared at him.

"I really hate you, Kisame," he growled.

"Well that's rude!" Kisame huffed. "I'm not going to help you if you act like that!"

Itachi flushed. "Just get me out of here."

Kisame grabbed him and placed him on his shoulders. "I'll turn you back when we're done with shopping," he said, and started off. Before going into the store, he placed a henge on himself so he wouldn't stand out so much.

"Let's see... A dozen eggs... Three gallons of milk... Five pounds of raw beef... Four boxes of cereal... Man, this is a lot of food..."

After about an hour, they were finished with shopping. Kisame was forced to buy about 490 ryo of it, much to his annoyance. And during the checkout, the cashier kept cooing about how cute his 'son' was. Itachi was predictably not happy.

"Why couldn't you turn me back before?" he muttered to Kisame over the talking cashier.

He grinned sheepishly. "Sorry?"

"Here, I'll give you a discount," the cashier said. "Us dads have to stick together."

"Uh... Thanks," Kisame responded, not about to look a gift horse in the mouth. Itachi glared at the cashier, but he didn't seem to notice.

"Well, that went well," Kisame commented as they walked out. Itachi turned his glare to the shark man carrying him.

"Turn me back. Now," he ordered.

"I can't do it in the middle of the street," Kisame pointed out. "At least wait until there's no one around."

"Fine," Itachi sullenly complied. "But make it quick."

Kisame saluted him. "Can do," he said, and started running off. "Where can I find some hot water..."

Then they heard a voice. "... ... ... ... ... ... somewhere around here, Sasuke... ... ... ..."

Sasuke?

Itachi spun his head around to see his younger brother, walking down the street with his group of 'friends'.

Sasuke!

* * *

**That was chapter seven! Please review!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Here's chapter eight! This one is short, but I hope you still like it. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Ranma 1/2. **

* * *

"He should be somewhere around here, Sasuke-kun," Karin told the current object of her affections, Sasuke Uchiha. "His chakra signal is extremely strong."

"Hn," Sasuke said, not really listening. He was watching his surroundings, looking for any sign of the man who ruined his life, his older brother.

When he found Itachi Uchiha, he would kill him.

"Come on, Karin!" Suigetsu complained. "He's obviously not here. We can't stay forever; Juugo's waiting outside the village!

"He's here," Sasuke interrupted, drawing the eyes of his teamates to him. "I can feel it."

"Sasuke-kun..." Karin whispered.

He noticed a man and a little kid on the man's back staring at them. He glared. "What are you looking at?" he growled. The man quickly apologized and left. The kid on his back, however, kept looking back at him, even as the man walked away.

Something about that kid seemed familiar...

He almost looked like... That man...

No. He quickly shot the theory down. It was his older brother that killed his clan. Not his younger.

He felt a surge of hatred at the thought of who it was that betrayed him.

_Itachi... I_ _will find you... And I will kill you._

-\_/-

Itachi breathed a sigh of relief as his brother faded out of sight. He had almost thought for a second that Sasuke had recognized him.

Kisame glanced back at him smugly. "It's a good thing I didn't turn you back before, eh?"

"Don't push your luck, Kisame."

"Sorry."

They left the village, relieved that their job was finished.

^o '

"It's gone, Sasuke-kun," Karin told him. He looked back.

"Huh?"

"Itachi's chakra signal. It went away."

He glared at her. "Where did it go?"

"Into the forest," she said. "Should we follow it?"

Sasuke didn't dignify that with a response. Of course they would. He would kill his brother no matter what.

Even if it meant following him to the ends of the Earth.

That's how much he hated him.

He hated him more than all the fangirls in the world combined. He hated him more than swimming through an ocean of stinky, rotten garbage. Oh, how he hated that man...

"Hey Karin, Sasuke's spaced out again. Think we should just leave him here?"

"Shut up, idiot! I'd never leave my Sasuke-kun behind!"

Oh, how he hated him...

* * *

**That was chapter eight! Please review! Oh, and have a great summer, everyone! :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**Here is chapter nine! Please enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Ranma 1/2. **

* * *

"We're back, Leader-sama." Pein looked up to see Zetsu in front of him.

"Ah, Zetsu. How did it go?"

"**Horrible**. Don't say that! **What? It did.** But you could have picked a better way to describe it! **That was the better way**."

Pein sighed. "That bad?"

"Yes. **You don't want to know**."

He was tempted to ask, but knew from previous experiences that if Zetsu said 'You don't want to know', he really didn't want to know.

"Okay." he said. "Well, I have another mission for you. Have you heard of the spring called 'Jusenkyo'?"

"That one you sent Deidara and Tobi to?"

"And Itachi, Kisame, Kakuzu, Hidan, Konan, me..." He coughed. "Pretty much everyone but you."

"**Must be a pretty interesting spring, then**. Did you want us to go also?"

"Yes, but..." He handed Zetsu a large backpack. "In here is a collection of tubes. I want you to collect water samples for each pool there." Before the plant man could leave, Pein warned, "Oh, and no matter what you do, do not let any of the water touch you. That is an order. "

"... Okay? **Pretty strange order**. Don't question him. Yes, Leader-sama." And Zetsu left. To his possible doom.

Xol0X

"This is the place," Zetsu said as he arrived at the springs. "**Jusenkyo hot springs**."

"We should probably get started. **Man, this is boring!** Don't complain. At least we aren't still on that last mission. **True**."

Zetsu started collecting water samples, making sure he didn't touch any of the water while he was doing it. It didn't take too long; after about an hour he was completely finished.

"**... I could go for a snack**."

As he stood up, the water from one of the springs spilled onto the ground. And, very coincidentally, there was a fly there. Imagine Zetsu's surprise when that fly suddenly turned into a hippopotamus.

"**What?!**" he exclaimed, staring at the hippo, which didn't seem to realize that anything had happened to it. Zetsu looked down at the water container.

"... Oh, I see. It's the water? **No duh.** No wonder Pein wants this so bad. **And no wonder we can't touch it.** We have to refill this." He looked at the springs.

"... Which one was this from again?"

,-_-

"Here you go, Leader-sama," Zetsu said, handing Pein the pack with the water samples in it. "**I'll have you know, it took a lot of work to find that last one again after spilling it.** Quiet! He doesn't need to know that!"

Pein startled. "What?! Spilled?!"

"**Not on us!**" Zetsu quickly reassured him. "On a fly. It turned into a hippo. **I don't think it even noticed.** That wasn't necessary. **It's true, though.**"

Pein sweatdropped. "Okay. Just as long as you got the samples without it getting on you."

"We were wondering... **How did you know what the water did**?" Zetsu asked, curious.

Pein's eyes widened. "Ah... No reason. You may go," he said, quickly dismissing Zetsu.

"... Yes, Leader-sama," Zetsu said, and left. Once he was out of hearing range, he said, "Want to bet he fell in by accident? **I don't need to bet; it's obvious already.**"

Luckily for him, Pein didn't hear this.

* * *

**That was chapter 9! I will post the next chapter in a week. Please review! :D**


	10. Chapter 10

**And the secret is finally revealed! ... Sort of. **

**Here's chapter 10! Oh, and as a little treat, there's a short omake for you at the end. I hope you enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Ranma 1/2... Or Monopoly.**

* * *

All the Akatsuki were called to a meeting in Pein's office. They gathered there and waited for their leader to explain what the meeting was about.

"I called you all here," Pein started, "To show you our brand new weapon; possibly our key to success. It's probably the most dangerous thing you'll ever see, and can instantly resort our opponents helpless."

"Um, sorry to interrupt," Deidara said, "But if these 'weapons' are really that powerful, we'd be invincible."

Pein nodded. "I can see why you'd think that, but we aren't. We only have a limited supply, and they can easily be wasted or turned against our own. They must be used wisely."

"How can we be sure they work?" Kakuzu asked.

"They're already tried and tested. We are 100% sure of their power." He gestured to Konan. "May you bring me one?"

As Konan left the room, murmurs broke through the curious members. What could be so powerful to eliminate their enemies, yet they themselves would be in danger from? They were about to find out.

Konan then walked back in, holding a...

Water gun?

"What the ** is this?!" Hidan shouted. "You promise some super powerful weapon, and you bring out a ** water gun?!"

Itachi's eyes widened in realization. "No way!" he exclaimed. "You actually brought it?!"

Pein glanced at him knowingly. "So you admit there wasn't actually 'nothing'" he said dryly, and Itachi realized his mistake instantly.

A few of the other members soon caught on. "You didn't," Deidara breathed.

"Keep that thing away from me," Kakuzu ordered, shifting slightly. Kisame voiced his agreement with that statement.

Tobi was cocking his head, pretending to be confused. Inside, however, he was cackling madly at all the possibilities this brought him.

Pein explained for the people who still didn't get it (Hidan). "Inside this water gun is water from Jusenkyo."

"**!" Hidan cursed.

"Now," Pein said. "I need you all to be honest. Who here has fallen in a spring?"

Silence.

"Now is not the time to be quiet. I need to know who has a curse."

Still silence.

"You know, I can test this the old fashioned way," he threatened. He turned to Konan. "Fetch me a cup of cold water."

"No!" Deidara exclaimed, shifting as all eyes turned to him. "No. Uh, I have a curse. So does Tobi, un."

"Deidara-sempai!" Tobi whined.

Pein nodded. "Ok. Anyone else?"

Kisame nudged his partner. "Itachi does." At feeling Itachi's glare, he said, "What? Would you rather they saw it instead of me telling?"

Itachi glanced away. "Hn."

"Kisame, do you have a curse?" Pein asked, and the shark man shook his head. "No."

"Ok." He turned to Kakuzu and Hidan. "You two?"

Hidan twitched nervously.

"I don't have a curse," Kakuzu said honestly.

"Hidan?" Pein pressed.

No response.

"Konan, get me the col-"

"Fine! I have a ** curse," Hidan growled angrily. "Happy now?!"

Pein nodded. "I'm not going to ask you what type of curse you have, because that is irrelevant knowledge. However, if anyone's cursed form is a Bijuu, speak up now."

No one did.

Pein sighed. "It didn't hurt to ask. Any questions?"

Kakuzu nodded. "How did you know about the water anyways?" he asked.

Pein shifted. "Uh, Konan fell in."

"Traitor," she muttered, giving him the evil eye.

"You are dismissed," he said quickly, before they could ask him any more questions.

* * *

**OMAKE**

"**!" Hidan shouted, slamming his hands against the game board. "Why do you always ** win?!"

"It's because I, unlike you, know how to handle money," Kakuzu answered, calmly cleaning up the pieces scattered around the room from Hidan's little tantrum.

"No, it's because you always use the hat! That piece is ** jinxed!" Hidan protested.

"Has anyone noticed how weird this is?" Deidara asked randomly.

"Hidan acting like a baby? It's not that weird," Kakuzu commented, igniting a "Hey!" from Hidan.

"No." Deidara shook his head. "I mean, we're a feared group of S-ranked missing nin. All of us have killed without thinking. And here we are," he gestured to all of them, "Playing freaking Monopoly in our free time and fighting over who gets what piece!"

It was true. All of the Akatsuki were playing the board game, without complaints (other than Hidan). They all quieted as they realized this fact.

"... Why do we even have game nights anyways?" Kisame wondered, forgetting that he was the one who suggested it.

"Tobi thinks it's fun!" Tobi inputted. Everyone ignored him.

"Ok," Pein said, standing up. "This is a waste of time. We're going to go train now." Everyone got up and followed him as he walked to the door and opened it.

"..."

The Akatsuki stared outside, not daring to go out, in risk of getting hit by the rain falling from the skies and activating their curses. They glanced at each other.

"... Who's up for Monopoly?"

"I get the ** hat this time!"

* * *

**That was chapter 10! I hope you liked! I'll post the next chapter on Tuesday. Please review! :)**


	11. Chapter 11

**Here's chapter eleven! Oh, and it's very important that you read the author's note at the end. Do not skip over it. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Ranma 1/2. **

* * *

It sucks, being the last to take a shower in the Akatsuki base.

That's what Deidara just discovered.

Just because they're powerful S-ranked ninjas, that doesn't mean they get more hot water than the average household.

And now he was a girl.

She would kill everyone. Slowly.

Looking down at her new form, she growled with fury. Wrapping a towel around herself, she stormed out of the bathroom and into the base, not really thinking.

"Alright, who used up all the hot water?!" she yelled angrily as she walked in on all the Akatsuki crowded around the TV.

They looked at her. Of course they didn't see Deidara; instead, they saw a soaking wet girl wearing nothing but a towel.

Insert nosebleeds.

"Woah!" Hidan exclaimed, a lecherous grin on his face. "There's a hot, naked girl in the base!"

Deidara faltered. "Huh?"

"Here, let me give you a tour of the base. Specifically, my room," he said, a perverted glint in his eyes.

Deidara finally realized what was happening.

"Hiiidannn..." she growled dangerously, cracking her knuckles. "I will kill you! Katsu!"

And Hidan was exploded right through the wall.

The other Akatsuki members stared in shock at this familiar style of fighting. "... Deidara?"

"Huh?" the girl said, looking at them. At seeing their faces, she laughed nervously. "Ah, hi?"

~.V

"So, you turn into a girl with cold water?" Pein said after Deidara got dressed, changed back into a guy, and gave his explanation.

"Yeah," he sighed. "It sucks."

"Hey, at least you're still human," Kakuzu told him, glancing through the hole in the wall Hidan went through.

"Being a girl isn't bad," Konan consoled him. "It's actually fun."

"Not if you're supposed to be a guy," Deidara muttered. "Then it's just confusing."

"Toni thinks Deidara-sempai is a pretty girl!" Tobi piped up. Deidara glared at him, sending off waves that said 'Shut up'.

"Hey," Kisame wondered. "Do you think Hidan figured out that you were the girl?"

"No," everyone deadpanned. After all, Hidan wasn't the fastest when it came to figuring things out.

-#-

"Agh. **," Hidan muttered, lying in a pile of rubble that surely would have killed him had he not been immortal. "That ** **!"

If he were anyone else, he would have taken this as a sign that the girl wasn't interested.

Of course, if Hidan was anyone else, he'd be dead.

Hidan definitely wasn't anyone else.

So, instead, he took it as a challenge.

"I will win her over," he swore. "That ** will be ** bowing at my feet!"

Good luck with that, Hidan.

O-O

"Soon."

Kabuto was leaning over a dead body, scalpel in hand as he worked on it.

"Soon, the dead will rise again."

He opened the mouth of the body with a metal tool.

"And I will finish the job Lord Orichimaru started."

He poured a silvery looking liquid into the corpse's mouth.

"Now rise, my servant. Rise and live once again!"

And Akasuna no Sasori opened his eyes.

* * *

**And the plot thickens...**

**I feel really bad telling you this after leaving on this chapter, but... I'm going on vacation! We're driving all the way across the country, and I don't think I'll be able to update any of my stories while I'm gone. If I find myself able to, I will, but I can't make any guarantees. Be on the lookout, and if I can't put anything up soon, then I'll see you in three weeks!**

**Please review! :)**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter** **twelve! Sorry about the wait, the place I'm staying at has wacky Internet connection, so I'm just going to post this while it's working for now. Please enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Ranma 1/2. **

* * *

Kakuzu was annoyed with Hidan.

It wasn't really that strange of an occurrence. Happened every day, actually.

Usually Kakuzu would just lop his head off and be done with it. Sure, it wasn't the ideal option. It didn't shut the immortal up, and Kakuzu was forced by Pein to sew it back on later, because apparently "A headless member is not useful". But, it was his best option, so it was the one he always took.

However, now he had an even better way of revenge. And the best part was, if he played his cards right, he wouldn't have to see Hidan again for the rest of the day.

So when Hidan least expected it, he dumped cold water over his head.

"MREEEOW!" Hidan yelped in shock. Once he realized what happened, he glared at the smug Kakuzu.

"You have to stay like that for the whole day," Kakuzu told him, picking him up like an old, smelly rag he didn't want to touch.

Hidan hissed, as if saying "You can't tell me what to do!". Kakuzu ignored him and walked into the TV room where Kisame, Deidara, and Tobi were watching the television.

"Hey," he said, drawing their attention. "Could you watch this cat?" he asked, and threw Hidan at Kisame, who barely caught him.

"Where'd you get this?" Kisame questioned, grabbing Hidan by the scruff of skin on his neck and holding him in front of his face, making sure the angry kitty wasn't close enough to scratch him.

"I'm planning to sell it," Kakuzu explained, "But I have to go on a mission. I want you to watch it while I'm gone. Do not take your eyes off it. If anything happens, you have to pay for damages."

They all nodded quickly, not wanting to have to give up their money on some cat.

"Does he have a name?" Tobi asked, trying to pet the ravaging kitten.

Kakuzu shrugged. "Who cares? Remember; never let him out of your sight." An evil smirk formed under his mask, then he was gone.

Hidan glared at his retreating form. That ** had planned this! He knew that no one else knew that his cursed form was a cat, so he was making sure that he didn't turn back by threatening his fellow Akatsuki to watch him.

"Can Tobi name him?" Tobi asked. Hidan prayed to Jashin that he wouldn't be allowed. Please oh please oh please oh ple-

"Sure," Kisame said.

Deidara followed with "I don't really care."

Hidan cursed to himself.

"Yaaaay!" Tobi squealed with excitement. He grabbed the horrified Hidan and hugged him tightly. "Your name will be Fuzzy-chan!"

"Oy, Tobi, no need to torture the animal," Kisame said, not taking his eyes off the TV screen.

Tobi noticed that he was suffocating the newly dubbed Fuzzy-chan. "Ah! Sorry, Fuzzy-chan!"

The kitten hissed and tried to scratch him. Tobi didn't seem to realize this. "Fuzzy-chan's so cute!" he cooed, poking the furious cat's nose. "Don't worry! Tobi won't let anything happen to you!"

Hidan groaned. What did he do to deserve this?

The next few hours were like torture for Hidan. Tobi had decided to spend the whole day with 'Fuzzy-chan', and Hidan found that no matter how hard he tried to escape, he couldn't. It was like the guy had eyes on the back of his head.

Once, he managed to escape into the bathroom. He sighed in relief and hopped onto the sink, about to turn the water to hot, when Kisame came in. He noticed the cat and threw him out, right into Tobi's waiting arms.

Hidan would kill Kakuzu when he was back to normal.

Finally, after what seemed like ages, Kakuzu came back. He walked into the room, where Tobi was tossing Hidan around like a rag doll.

"You ** **!" Hidan yowled at Kakuzu, even though he couldn't understand him. "I'm going to ** kill you!"

Kakuzu smirked.

"Kakuzu-san! Can we keep him?" Tobi begged. "Please? I don't want you to sell Fuzzy-chan!" Hidan hissed at the masked man.

Kakuzu's smirk grew even larger. "Fuzzy-chan, huh?"

"Yes! Tobi named him!" Tobi said, sounding pleased with himself. "Please?"

"Give it up, Tobi," Deidara said, sounding bored. "If Kakuzu can sell something, he will. Heck, I'm surprised he hasn't sold any of us already."

Kakuzu grabbed the traumatized cat and started walking away. "Sorry, Tobi."

When they were away from the other Akatsuki, Kakuzu placed Hidan down and pulled out a thermos of hot water. He poured it on the kitten's head, quickly throwing an Akatsuki cloak at him. "Put that on."

"You **!" Hidan shouted, ignoring the cloak. "I'm going to ** kill you!"

"Hidan, please put on some clothes," Kakuzu grumbled, shielding his eyes.

"You turned me into a ** cat and gave me to that heathen Tobi!"

"Seriously, Hidan. I really don't want to see this."

"I should ** sacrifice you to Jashin-sama!"

"Ok, I'm just leaving now."

"You ** **! Don't just ** walk away! Get the ** back here so I can ** kill you! I'm going to ** rip you into tiny pieces..."

* * *

**Chapter 12, everyone! Please review! :)**


	13. Chapter 13

**Okay, so I'm finally back from vacation! As nice as it is to get away for a while, it's always great to get back. Now, before I start rambling: ****Here's chapter 13! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: The day I own Naruto or Ranma 1/2 is the day Orichimaru decides to give up villainy and becomes a voice actor in radio commercials. In other words, it's not going to happen. **

* * *

Somewhere, in a galaxy far, far away, (ok, not really), there was a secret hideout.

Inside this hideout lived an evil snake wannabe. He used to have a master, but his master was killed by a brooding Uchiha. So this snake wannabe decided to take over where his master had left off in his quest for immortality.

Somehow, who knows how, this snake wannabe had gotten the power to bring the dead back to life. So he collected the corpse of a powerful ninja; a former Akatsuki member, to test this power out.

He had planned to use this ninja as his slave. He was sure that he would follow him, as he was the one who brought him back.

What he didn't expect was for the ninja to rebel.

Or maybe he did expect it. Either way, that was what the ninja did.

To tell the truth, the ninja didn't remember his actual death. One minute he was about to die; the next he was being knelt over by an evil snake wannabe, holding a tube over his mouth. Naturally, he would not comply.

He was weak now, though. He had been, or so he was told by the snake wannabe, dead for a month, so he was naturally unused to using his body at all, which explained why he couldn't move his arms or legs. So he was quickly defeated.

He was placed in a jail cell, until he was willing to go along with the wannabe's wishes. So he was trapped underground, in a cell, with nothing to do.

And we have now reached the present. As you all have probably guessed from your memory of a scene two chapters ago, the snake wannabe is Kabuto, and the ninja is Sasori.

Sasori was not happy.

He was supposed to die at the cave. He wasn't supposed to wake up a month later with his former spy hanging over him, messing with his puppet body.

He wasn't sure what Kabuto had done to him. He wasn't inclined to believe what he had been told about him not being used to fighting or something stupid like that. After all, it was much more likely that while doing all that stuff to him, Kabuto had accidentally cut off his brain's signal to his limbs. After all, it had been a week already, and he still showed no sign of being able to stand up.

Or maybe not accidentally.

Whatever. It wasn't like he cared anyway.

He was lucky that he didn't need to eat or drink. He hadn't been visited at all while he was trapped in this cell, and if he were a normal person, he would most likely be dead from dehydration.

So... He was dead for a month. He wondered just what had happened while he was gone. How did some random guy he had gotten to spy on Orichimaru for him gain the power to bring him back from the dead? Where was Orichimaru, anyways?

And what was going on in the Akatsuki? Who was he replaced with? Did anyone else die? Did they accomplish their goals?

Not that he cared, or anything. He was dead. He wasn't in the Akatsuki anymore.

But he was alive now. Did that mean he had to go back?

Well, he had no reason to concern himself with that now. After all, he wasn't going to be able to go anywhere anytime soon.

Which brought him back to the problem of not being able to move.

At least he could access his chakra. It wouldn't do him any good, since he couldn't move, but it was comforting to know it was still there. He wasn't completely without hope.

There was another thing he was wondering. Why did Kabuto bring him back? Sure, he was pretty strong, but there were other dead ninja out there that we're stronger. Like... like... Madara Uchiha, or something. Why him?

"Sasori." He looked up to see Kabuto standing in front of him. He hadn't even heard him come in. Was he slipping in more than just his ability to move?

"I altered your hearing to the level of an ordinary civilian," Kabuto explained, practically reading his mind. Sasori glared at him. So he had done something to him.

Kabuto sighed. "No need to be like that. I just want to offer you a deal."

"What sort of deal?" Sasori asked warily. He wasn't going to shoot the guy down right away without hearing his conditions, as much as he disliked the man.

Kabuto smirked. "You see, I have a... goal. However, so does the Akatsuki. And their goal is getting in the way of mine. I need the jinchurikki's power, but they are trying to take it. I have briefly considered forming an alliance, but ultimately decided against it. They are powerful enough that if I demanded power from the jinchuuriki, they could kill me on the spot. What I want you to do is act as my spy."

Sasori's eyes narrowed. "Spy?"

'_Ah, how the tables have turned,_' Kabuto thought with amusement. '_Not __long ago, it was I who was the spy_.'

He nodded in response to Sasori. "Yes. They would trust you; all the while you would be leading them to their deaths. Without the Akatsuki in my way, my plan would be able to succeed."

"Why should I do this?" Sasori asked, suspicious.

"Why not?" Kabuto answered. "Otherwise you're just trapped in this jail cell. And you're a human puppet," he added. "It's not like you have any ties with them... Do you?"

Sasori didn't answer.

"I'll let you think about it," Kabuto said, walking out of the room. "But I would accept if I were you."

He closed the cell door, and Sasori was left alone with his thoughts.

* * *

**That was chapter 13! Please review! :D**


	14. Chapter 14

**Here is chapter 14! I hope you enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Ranma 1/2. **

* * *

Pein was frustrated.

These curses were messing with their plans. Sure, they had the water guns, but nobody wanted to go near them (except Hidan, who was frankly rather enthusiastic, but no sane person would let Hidan near one of those things) in risk of accidentally getting water on themselves and obtaining another curse.

Could they get another curse? Pein didn't know, but he didn't want to risk it.

Either way, his big idea to use the cursed water as a weapon wasn't working very well.

Plus, they hadn't gone on missions to obtain Jinchuuriki in a while. He supposed that was partly his fault; after all, he was the one who assigned missions. But he had been distracted.

The curse of Jusenkyo was becoming more well known. There were rumors going around of a hippopotamus suddenly appearing out of nowhere whenever it rained. Zetsu always snickered whenever this was brought up.

Pein, however, found this worrisome. Some people were investigating the magical hippo, and it was only a matter of time before they discovered that the cause was cold water. And if word got out that the Akatsuki had a curse like this...

They would know their weakness.

The others weren't taking this seriously. The cursed people were annoyed, sure, but they didn't see how bad this could be for them. Those who weren't cursed were treating it like a joke. Kakuzu was even putting in requests for a pool to be put in the base. They couldn't see that this was more than an inconvenience; this was truly a dangerous curse.

A curse that could be the ruin of the Akatsuki.

They needed to find a cure. Fast.

"Pein?" Pein turned his head to see Konan coming in. "Is something the matter?"

He shook his head. "I'm just thinking."

He waited for Konan to leave. After about ten seconds, he realized that she was still standing there, waiting for him to explain.

He sighed. "These curses... I don't think the others realize the magnitude of this situation. Others could use this against us. It's a real weakness."

Konan nodded thoughtfully. "I understand. But, instead of focusing on how this could hurt us, why don't you think of how this could be used to our advantage?"

Pein looked up. "Huh?"

"Um..." She glanced at the ceiling, thinking. "Like, it could be useful if you need a spy or something. Nobody would suspect a random animal of being in the Akatsuki."

Pein's eyes widened. "That's actually... really smart."

"It's not like I'm an idiot," Konan huffed, offended. "Is it really that hard to believe that I can come up with a good idea?!"

"Er... That was a complim-" Pein began.

"Whatever," Konan growled. "I'll be in my room. That's the last time I help you out." And she left the room, slamming the door behind her.

"-ent..."

-:_:-

"Deidara, Tobi," Pein said later, looking at the two shinobi in front of him. "I have had an epiphany." Konan, who was standing beside him, scoffed. He coughed slightly.

"Ok, Konan did. The cursed forms you have would be especially useful when it comes to espionage. Therefore, I am going to send you to spy on Konoha and see if you can uncover their Jinchuuriki's weakness."

Deidara frowned. "Why us, un? Why not Itachi or something?"

"Because I know what your cursed form is," Pein said, "And I don't know Itachi's."

"You don't know Tobi's, either."

"You will be a civilian," Pein continued, ignoring Deidara's last statement, "Visiting Konoha on vacation for a month. You have to somehow find a way to get close to the Kyuubi Jinchuuriki. You will go by... Yuri."

"What?!" Deidara protested. "That's such a girly name!"

"Which makes sense, because you'll be a girl," Pein told him. "Tobi can do... Whatever Tobi does. As long as he doesn't blow your cover."

"Tobi will help Deidara-sempai!" Tobi exclaimed, making an attempt to hug his sempai, only to get pushed away forcefully.

"Fine," Deidara muttered reluctantly. "I'll do it, I guess."

"Good," Pein said. "You leave tomorrow."

"Yes, Leader-sama," they said, and left his office.

Konan looked at him. "Pein."

"What?" he said, glancing up at her.

She glared. "So, you had an epiphany, huh?"

His eyes widened. "Ah- No. I fixed it! I said you came up with it!"

"After you were about to take the credit yourself." She loomed over him, shadows hiding the whites of her eyes.

He backed away slowly.

She pulled out a glass of ice water. "Goodbye, Pein."

* * *

**That was chapter 14! Don't worry, the water guns still play a fairly large part... Please review! :D**


	15. Chapter 15

**Ok, so here's chapter fifteen! Please enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Ranma 1/2. **

* * *

Deidara looked down at herself in disgust. "I look like a girl!" she moaned.

Konan sweatdropped. "Uh, you are a girl."

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean I want to look like one!" She tugged at the dress she was wearing. "I'm wearing a dress, un! A dress! Why do I have to wear a dress?!"

"Because you're supposed to be a girl now," Konan answered. "And girls wear dresses."

"Not all the time they don't! Why can't I just wear girl's clothes that aren't dresses?"

"Because. Now get out there."

"In this?!" Deidara wrapped her arms around herself. "I can't let anyone see me like this!"

Konan lost her patience. "Who. Cares. Get out there. NOW!"

Deidara stared, then scurried out of the room. 'Scary!'

When she walked into Pein's office, Itachi and Kisame were in a meeting with him. "Um," she said, grabbing their attention. "Where's Tobi, un? We have to leave."

They stared.

Deidara noticed this, and glared fiercely. "Yes, it's a dress! It's for a mission, un! A M-I-S-S-I-O-N! I would never, EVER, wear that of my own choice! EVER!" She calmed down. "Now, where's Tobi?"

"Uh... Last I checked, he was watching TV..." Kisame said, still staring, and she stormed out of the room, muttering something about 'stupid curses' and such forth.

"Tobi!" Deidara called, walking into the TV room. "We have to... Hey, where's Tobi?"

Kakuzu and Hidan stared at her. "Hey, you're that ** that blew me up!" Hidan exclaimed. He then smirked. "You know, I liked your outfit better last time."

Kakuzu looked at her in amusement. "Nice dress."

She gave them a scalding glare. "Shut. Up." She then turned away. "If you see Tobi, tell him I was looking for him."

Hidan scowled at her retreating form. "Why the ** does she want Tobi?! She could do a lot better than that ** idiot!"

Kakuzu snickered. Hidan whipped his head around, glaring at his partner. "What's so ** funny?" When he got no response, he glared fiercer. "Hey! Answer me!"

Just then, Tobi walked into the room. "Has anyone seen Deidara-sempai?"

"No, but there was this ** chick looking for you," Hidan said, trying his best to sound bored and indifferent - and failing.

"Ok! Thank you, Hidan-san!" Tobi said, and left through the doorway Deidara had gone through.

Hidan pouted to himself. "** **," he muttered.

^(0 )^

"Deidara-sempai!" Deidara turned around to see Tobi running after her.

"There you are, Tobi, un." she said. "We have to go on our mission."

Tobi nodded. "Deidara-sempai looks pretty in a dress!" he complimented.

He backed away as he felt a dark aura coming out of her. "Never. Say. That. Ever. Again," she growled.

"T-Tobi's sorry! Don't kill Tobi! He's a good boy!" Tobi pleaded frantically.

Deidara grunted and stormed away, shooting back a glare when she realized that Tobi was just standing there. "Are you coming?"

"Yes!" Tobi said, running after Deidara with relief that he wouldn't get blown up.

For now.

*V

"There it is," Deidara murmured, watching the Konoha gates from in hiding. "Konohagakure. Village Hidden in the Leaves." She gulped. "My vacation spot."

"Don't be so nervous, Deidara-sempai!" Tobi consoled Deidara, patting her back. "Tobi will be with you!"

"That's not very comforting," Deidara muttered under her breath. She then said, in a louder voice, "What are you going to do? You can't just waltz in, baring your Akatsuki cloak for all to see. Plus, you've got that easily identifiable lollipop mask, un. You wouldn't last ten minutes."

"Tobi already thought of that! You see," He paused dramatically, pulling out a capsule of cold water. "Tobi will go as a dog!" And he poured the water over his head, incurring his transformation from man to canine.

Deidara stared at the puppy in front of him.

"... And back to the mask issue," she remarked. "You do know dogs don't usually wear masks?"

Tobi barked.

Deidara sighed. "Whatever, un. If you get caught, it's your problem."

She turned to the village, mouth firm in determination. "Well, here goes nothing."

And she started walking towards the gates.

* * *

**That was chapter 15! You know, I just realized: This was the first time in the story Tobi called himself a good boy. How 'bout that.**

**Please review! :)**


	16. Chapter 16

**Here is chapter 16! Please enjoy! :D**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Ranma 1/2. **

* * *

We now (finally) get to check in on the progress of everyone's favorite foursome: Team Kill Itachi!

... Or so Sasuke thinks it should be called.

Right now, they were hiding in front of the Akatsuki base, waiting for said member to come out.

"... How long have we been waiting here?" Suigetsu burst out, having lost his patience for this.

"A week," Sasuke answered blankly, not taking his eyes off the base.

"And he still hasn't come out!" Suigetsu pointed out. "Wouldn't it be easier to just go in and find him? Or we could sit here for a month, waiting for your brother to appear!"

Sasuke glared at him. "Don't call him that!" He turned back to the base. "I don't consider him a brother anymore."

"... You know, he has a point, Sasuke-kun," Karin said hesitantly, receiving a shocked look from Suigetsu. "You would be able to kill him quicker if you went in."

"Woah! Karin actually agreed with me, and not Sasuke?" Suigetsu cried dramatically. "It's the apocalypse! Everyone take cover!"

Sasuke ignored him, thinking. He would get to kill that man sooner if he went in. And he just might be able to catch him by surprise, too.

"... Alright," he said, drawing the eyes of his three minio- I mean, partners. "We'll go in."

"Sasuke too?" Suigetsu yelled in horror. "It really is the end of the world!"

Again, he was ignored.

The three of them peeked through the entrance of the base, looking for any signs of people. Nothing.

"... It feels like we're forgetting something," Suigetsu noticed as they walked in. "Anyone else think so?" He looked at Karin and Sasuke, who were staring intently ahead, showing no sign of hearing him. "No? Just me? Juugo, you agree-" He then noticed what was missing.

"Oh, great! We forgot about Juugo!" Suigetsu cried in realization. "He's probably still waiting for us outside that one village!" He turned around to exit. "I'll go get-"

"Karin , go find him," Sasuke ordered. Karin looked like she was about to protest, but stopped at a stern look

from her crush.

"... Fine," she murmured, and left.

Suigetsu glanced at Sasuke. "Why'd you do that? I was about to go."

Sasuke stared forward. "... She has already led me to Ita- that man," he eventually said. "She has done her job, and is now useless to me. She would only get in the way now."

Suigetsu watched him walk further into the base. '... He's so cold...' he thought, following him.

And tripped over a random water gun on the ground.

"Woah!" he cried, regaining his balance before he could hit the ground. He peered down at the water gun, seeing that it was in a small pool of blood. "What's that doing there?"

_*Flashback*_

_"Oy, Kakuzu," Hidan yelled. Kakuzu turned around to see Hidan pointing a water gun at him. "You're always activating my ** curse; now it's your turn to get one!" He prepared to shoot, pumping up the gun. _

_Kakuzu cut off his arm. _

_"Ow!" Hidan exclaimed, the gun clattering on the ground with his arm still attached. "**! You'd better ** reattach that!"_

_"Only if you don't shoot me with that water," Kakuzu ordered. _

_"... Fine," Hidan grumbled. "Just get this ** arm back on!"_

_Kakuzu picked up the arm and left the room, Hidan trailing behind him. However, neither bothered to pick up the water gun, and it stayed on the ground, until Suigetsu came and tripped on it. _

_*End Flashback*_

"... I don't think I want to know," Suigetsu decided.

He picked it up and weighed it in his hands. "Seems pretty full," he decided. He looked at Sasuke walking in front of him.

A mischievous grin formed on his face.

"Hey, Sasuke!" he called out. Sasuke turned around, only to get sprayed in the face by Suigetsu.

"Look what I found!" he laughed, pleased with himself. It wasn't often he could shoot Sasuke with a water gun.

But then he looked, and saw that Sasuke wasn't there anymore.

"Sasuke?" he called out, looking around. "It was just a joke! Don't take it so seriously!"

No response.

"... He probably just saw Itachi somewhere, and went after him," Suigetsu decided. "I might as well wait for him outside."

And he left.

Little did he know, on the ground somewhere, camouflaging in the dark, was a small, bewildered black piglet, wondering what the heck just happened to him.

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**That was chapter 16! Please review! :)**


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